


Midsommar (Except i'm a filthy Homestuck)

by Jakesfatdick



Series: Movies (except i'm a filthy homestuck) [1]
Category: Homestuck, Midsommar (2019)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Jake English, Brainwashing, Character Death, Cults, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Religious Content, Trauma, bisexual Jane crocker, cult sacrificing, fucked up events, jane is an asshole, minor meenah peixes/Arenea Serket, sad jake english
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakesfatdick/pseuds/Jakesfatdick
Summary: Part 1 of a movie series i would like to do.Jake loses his Grandfather and sister to a horrible Accident, and gets accidentally invited to a trip with his girlfriend and her friends. He goes, hoping to take his mind off of the recent sad events, and ends up getting way more than he bargained for. It isn't all just dancing and feasts in Midsommar. Not by a long shot.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker/Jake English, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Dave Strider, Meenah Peixes/Aranea Serket, Sollux Captor/John Egbert
Series: Movies (except i'm a filthy homestuck) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928362
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. The Emails.

Jake was beyond confused, he didn't really know what to expect from an email like this. It wasn’t uncommon for jade to send this type of material to his inbox, but for whatever reason he had a particularly bad feeling about this one. 

He had tried calling her only to be sent to voicemail after a few rings, but his worry didn’t just lay with Jane’s well being, but also their mutual grandfathers as well. This would not be the case if it weren't for the contents of the email his estranged sister had sent.

“Dear Jake, I can’t anymore, everything is going black. Grandpa is coming too. Goodbye.” 

Jake hadn’t been able to get ahold of anyone except for his late girlfriend, Jane. She was especially concerned with Jades behavior rather than the implications behind the email, and while it was upsetting to jake, some part of him understood her skepticism to any real danger, rather than just another false alarm because of Jades bipolar disorder.

“She does this all the time Jake, and usually only because you let her do it to you. I’m sure it’s fine-” 

“Well i don't LET her Janey, she’s bipolar.”

“I know but you still let her, babe, you go straight into crisis mode, you’re giving her the attention she wants and it isn’t good for either of you.”

Jake frowned down at his phone, semi-dried tears making his face feel warm and sticky, his skin highlighted by the soft glow of his desk lamp in the corner. 

“Jane, She’s my sister, and even you admitted that this email sounded different than the others-”

“But is it? Having time to think about it, it just looks like another ploy for attention to me, just formatted differently, maybe she’s gotten smarter to you detecting her bullshit Jake.”

He thought over Jane's words, as much as he didn’t believe them, as much as he knew something was wrong, he couldn’t bare to argue with Jane, especially since her head was probably so much clearer than his was right now. 

“Yes...you’re right Jane. God of course you’re right. I was just so worried, especially with the mention to our grandpa but- i digress. You are right. I’m really lucky to have you.”

“Me too, babe.”

“ I love you…”

“......So do i.”

____________________________________________________________________________

Jane sat in the booth of some grubby Pizza place in the city, it hadn’t been her choice to come here, but rather Meenah’s suggestion. Her arms were crossed and her face crinkled in stress, Aranea seemed to inspect her with vague concern, but they all knew what the purpose of her sour mood was. 

“Gill, ya need to stop sittin on the fence with this.”

“But what if i end up regretting it and then i cant get him back?”

“You don't WANT him back.” Aranea spoke up from her place behind her laptop, adding onto Meenah’s opinionation of her and Jake's relationship. 

“I might!” Jane defended, looking between her three friends. Aranea leaned back to show she was no longer invested in the little back and forth that Meenah and Jane were about to indulge in, while Dirk silently ate his pizza in observation of the topic, but didn’t seem to be neither here nor there on her relationship status. But not Meenah.

“So then you can bitch to us for that day about how much you regret it. And whale remind you AGAIN that you’ve been wanting out of this relationship for the last year, and then you can find some new catch who actually likes sex and doesnt drag ya through a million nets a day.” She flopped her pizza around in her hand as she spoke, finally taking a bite as if you punctuate her side of the argument. Aranea took a break from whatever she was typing to look up and contribute once again. 

“Do you think a masochistic part of you might be playing out this drama to distract you from the work you actually need to be doing?” She said bitterly, gesturing to her laptop. Jane could only assume she was referring to the essay meant for their class, and she didn't like the implications Aranea was making about her dedication to it. “Im sorry, and what work do i actually need to do Aranea?”

The Serket girl lowered her voice, backing down slightly from Jane's dominating tone. “Your prospectus, possibly, your PHD…”

Jane REALLY didn’t want to be told what her priorities were supposed to be by Aranea. She also didn’t enjoy being told that she was dealing with Jake to avoid work. She was just a good girlfriend, and Aranea didn’t know anything about that, considering Meenah was probably the easiest person to date. She was about to shoot back a good few remarks to show her stance on this little conversation topic her friend had brought up, but was interrupted by a waiter stopping at their table. He smiled at them, zeroing in on Jane's gaze before setting down their check, “whenever you guys are ready.” 

Dirk finally spoke up for the first time since Jake had called, nodding a head towards the man, “Thank you.” he said mutely. The waiter smiled one last time at Jane before leaving, which seemed to entertain Meenah's side of the discussion.

“Sis, ya could be makin babies with that buoy right now.” Dirk grinned at Meenah’s teasing, “and don't forget all the Swedish dudes you could sleep with in June.” He added, seeming interested in only the joke. The taller girl nodded, “yeah Jane! The sexy swedish Farmers!” Jane was about to add in before her phone rang again. She pouted at Jakes caller ID, hesitating to pick up. “Who is that?” Meenah poked Janes shoulder, but the shorter girl didn't answer the others question at first. “That’s not him again, Seriously gill?” Jane finally decides to hang up, setting her phone back on the table. 

“Yer buoyfriend needs a therapist.” She grunted out, biting into her pizza crust. 

Jane sighed, “He has one.” 

“So He should go bother him about it! He’s using you Jane!” she said in almost too loud of a voice, but Aranea managed to flash a look to quiet her girlfriend down. Everybody went silent as Janes buzzing phone started to vibrate the table under them, she picked it up, letting out a small breath “It’s Jake again.”

“Oh my god.”

Jane waved off Meenah and sat up from the booth, picking up the phone and pressing it to her ear as she walked a bit farther away from her group of friends. “Hello?” All she received back from jake was a pitiful whine, soft, but she had still managed to hear it. “Jake?” she said softly, jumping slightly when she finally got a reply from her boyfriend.

“No no no no no no no….” 

Jane winced at the tone of his voice, “Sweetie? What’s going on?”

She pauses, waiting for a response, but only receives heartbreaking crying, and Jane begins to think for the first time that night that maybe she had given the wrong advice to Jake. “What’s happening Jakey? Talk to me baby.” His crying began to curdle into somewhat louder wails. Jane almost didn’t know what to do. This was different than any other phone call Jake had ever given her, and dread set in as she began to fear actually hearing what had happened. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Jake felt...well really the only word he could possibly use to describe it right now is numb. But numb of his own accord. He was fully aware that if he let himself dwell on any emotion other than nothingness that he’d be swept up into a panic attack, a sobbing fit. The first wave of tears had come when he had gotten the news about Jade. About their Grandfather. The crying didn’t stop as he struggled to see the screen through blurry vision, desperately searching for Jane's name in his contacts. 

It was a horrific event in actuality, the story behind Jades emails, what took place on this night. It seemed her ever growing mental illness had become a bit too much for her to bare. Her decision to take their grandfather with her, well the reasoning behind that was lost on Jake. It wasn’t any normal suicide homicide duo either, she had scarred Jake's memories with things he wouldn’t have even come up with in his head, had she not created it for him in real life. 

Taping a tube of the exhaust pipe of their car to two hoses, one for their guardians room, and one for the direct entrance to her mouth. It was heartbreaking, and Jake had been staring at the wall for an hour, unable to cry because he didn’t allow himself to feel for just a moment. He knew the floodgates would open back up as soon as Jane knocked on his door, he knew he would be an embarrassing, wailing mess of a man, and he knew it would drag on their relationship, he could sense it, everything he did pulled at the barrier between healthiness and strain on what he used to consider to be perfect. 

It was cold out tonight, and he could only think of Jane, probably bundled up and rushing over, he wouldn’t be surprised if she was in a panic. Jake was only able to explain so much through his weeping. He glances up tiredly as his door is shoved open by his girlfriend, the tears spilling, just as he had predicted, and breaking out into yet another mental breakdown. 

Jane held him that night. Held him as he screamed, his sobs filled with a profound despair. He’s in pain, distress, everything feels wrong, and yet nothing feels real. Jane strokes soothingly at his hair but it does little to quiet him. She stares off into space. Her eyes wide with worry, but not for Jakes family, but instead the image of being trapped in this future. Married to a broken version of the ever so spunky Jake english she had met in highschool. A version of the man who no longer worked, and Janes attempts to will away her discomfort for even the slightest mention of Jake seemed to become harder. But she stroked him nonetheless, she held him all night and into the morning, and felt maybe like she was a bad person. Because as she held her wailing boyfriend close to her, all she could think through the passing hours was how miserable HE was making HER.


	2. The Party

Jake laid still on his bed, staring at the wall as he reveled in the pure bliss of an empty brain for once this past week. He shuffled slightly in position as Jane entered the room, he didn’t see her, but he could hear the door rubbing against the carpet and clicking open. His head turned just slightly, absently, because it would be rude to not acknowledge her but he also didn’t have much energy to do much more than that. 

He could feel pressure on the bed as she sat down behind him, placing a hardly comforting hand on his shoulder, but it was enough for now. She was all he had now. 

“Hey babes.” She muttered out softly, keeping her voice low so as to keep the volume of the room to the near same as it was before. Quiet. “How are you feeling?” 

Jake sighed softly and willed himself to sit up on shaky arms, turning to Jane and smiling, “hey...i’m up.” he assured her.

A pregnant pause took the stage as she stared past him, her eyes on him, but she wasn’t really looking at him was she? Jane finally took the initiative to speak up. 

“I’m just going to some party that Meenah insisted I go to. It’ll only be like 40 minutes, so you should keep sleeping.” 

Jake felt some weird terror take hold of him at the mention of Jane leaving him. She had stayed by his side this entire week, much to her dismay, he was sure, and now the idea of being alone was scaring him, and he had no idea why. Maybe it was that being fully alone always let the thoughts of what happened flood into his head, the weight of it all, the loss. He shook his head softly and stood, making his way towards his dresser, “oh, i'll come with you.”

Jane hesitated to speak, shuffling awkwardly on the bed as her eyes trained on the wall next to Jake, but not him, “Are you sure you got enough rest?” She argued, her voice steady, in an attempt to keep the conversation calm, which he was thankful for, but no, he wasn’t gonna give into that. “I wasn’t sleeping anyways. I can come.”

Jane's eyes went to the side, her emotions seeming to clash with each other. Jake knew she didn’t want him there, but he couldn’t be alone. He just couldn’t. She forced a smile onto her face, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly as the muscles fought to convey her actual emotions. “Okay great!” she let out in a sickly sweet tone, standing up and dusting off a fake mess from her skirt. “Well i was gonna leave in like three minutes, so i’ll be at the door.”

“Okay then,” he nodded in her direction as she opened the door to take her leave, “i’ll just get dressed.”

________________________________________________________________

Music blasted around the room, bouncing cups on surfaces that stood a little too close to the speakers. A few lines shone around, highlighting faces occasionally and dancing couples. It wasn’t anything big, but it sure was a party, and Jake wasn’t the best a those.

He stood between Jane and one of her other friends, Dirk, he was pretty sure was his name. He glanced up at the man, Jane mentioned him being Swedish but he had no accent from what Jake could tell. Regardless he tore his vision away, favoring looking back at Jane instead. 

Suddenly, some girl who you only know is blind, and nothing else of her, speaks up. “I'm fucking dreading the summer.” she said mostly to the girl in blue, Aranea, you are sure. “Stuck in boulder while my mom watches Law and order all day.” she sticks out her tongue, glancing at you momentarily, as if in an attempt not to leave you out, “not that i don't love a good courtroom scene. But still.”

Meenah speaks up now, you know her name because she’s bold and the most talkative of the group, she’s also quite good at annoying Jane enough for his girlfriend to go on tangents about her. He smiles lightly at the thought. Jane hardly talked to him about all that stuff anymore. 

“Yeah well i have to visit my mom in shit- ass Tuscon after we get back.” she gestures to the rest of the group, although presumably not meaning Jake, because this is the first he’s heard of them going anywhere, he glances over at Jane, who looks a bit nervous at the new conversation topic. He narrows his eyes, not taking his gaze away from his girlfriend even as the blind girl speaks up once again, “Oh, is your group going somewhere?”

Aranea looks up from her phone and smiles at the youngest girl in the group, “Sweden.”

“Hälsingland” Dirk corrects, smirking over at Aranea, “but yes, it’s in Sweden.”

“Dirks invited us on a trip to his Hippie yodeling Strider farm.” Meenah flashes a toothy grin towards Jake, and he takes it as a form of bragging. She knew he wasn’t invited, “it must be crawling with sexy, emotionally distant blondes, if it's Dirk’s family.”

“It’s a whole bunch of families. But yes, you’ll meet my three siblings, if you run into them.” He pushes up his glasses, and you finally decide to speak up.

“Oh yeah.” you turn back to Jane, a somewhat accusatory glance thrown her way, she sweats under it, opening her mouth with a sheepish smile. “I mean, yes, Dirk invited us and we were thinking about it- maybe going.” She shrugs, “talking about it.”

Jake takes a gander at the rest of Jane's group, they all stand quiet and confused, except for Meenah, who looks horribly satisfied with herself. Jane mentions that maybe it's time to leave.

___________________________________________________________________

Jane insisted that Jake come back to her apartment tonight, whether it's to get him out of his own suffocating house or to apologize for keeping him in the dark about the trip, he doesn’t know, but he accepts the invitation anyways. 

The Noirette woman presses her keys into the door and pushes it open, holding it to the side so that her boyfriend can get in. His eyes stay trained forward, almost zoning out, too much is happening in his mind, and the solitary comfort of not feeling was starting to leave Jake, and it left a bad taste in his mouth, twisting around in his guts. 

He focused on Jane's apartment. There were a lot of baking signs and decorations that a middle aged mom might keep in her house, as well as a few cultural artifacts she kept around from studying in some class she had with Aranea, one that she hadn’t been fond of in the beginning but seemed to like just fine now. Jake could admire her appreciation for cultural differences and methods. It was cool he supposed. 

His silence seemed to alert Jane, because she watched him fumble around quietly for a few moments before deciding to say something, “are you okay?” She followed Jake as he moved over to her couch and sat down. He wasn’t looking at her directly anymore, but instead glancing at her figure in the mirror on the wall, she stood behind him, meeting his gaze as well in the same way. Not directly. 

He stayed quiet, and Jane began to look impatient, not noticing his small pleading look, he didn't know what to say, so she filled the gap for him, “yes? No? Jake c'mon. Speak up.”

Jake was hesitant to start a fight, so he glanced down at his bare knees, where his hands rested on them, cradling each other awkwardly, “I mean….Yes Janey i’m alright...that was just...very weird?” he glanced away from her completely, turning his head towards the wall adjacent from her. She huffed quietly and leaned forward, her head hovering over his shoulder, “what was?”

This answer seemed to upset Jake somewhat, and his tight lipped shrug turned into a small frown, eyebrows creasing in distress, “seriously?” he looked a bit surprised about his angry tone, shrinking down immediately. He didn’t want a fight, of course not. But she was pretending to be ignorant on purpose, he knew she was smarter than this. Jane widened her eyes and continued to play the stupid card.

“What was weird?” she questioned again, and the taller male huffed loudly, letting his head lean back into the couch rest, “The...The...Sweden thing! I had no idea, you didn’t tell me…”

“What do you mean?” she replied almost instantly, “i mentioned that i wanted to go, did i not Jake?”

“Okay fine, yes you did, but i didn’t know that...that you WERE going….you hadn’t told me anything was official yet…” he pressed his hand to his forehead, everything felt uncomfortably warm and stuffy, and he wanted to go home and sleep, even if it meant being alone at this point. Jane didn’t want the conversation to be over yet, however. 

“Well i just decided today. I wasn't keeping it from you.” 

“You already have a ticket.” he pointed out. Why couldn’t she just be honest with him? If she didn’t want him to come with her that's all she had to say. 

Jane looked slightly cornered, and deflated her originally defensive form. She moved around the couch and sat next to him, keeping a fair distance between their bodies. “Sorry…” she murmured, clasping her hands in her lap much like he had done earlier. Jake began to feel bad, and wanted to relieve the tension.

“Well...Janey.. Uh…” he swallows deep, his adam's apple bobbing as he looked for the right words to explain his side without being a huge cur. “It’s just..imagine if we were at a party, and my friends start saying we’re going to Alaska for three months-”

“A month and a half..” Jane corrects, and Jake bites his lip in slight annoyance. 

“And then they say they’re leaving in two weeks and this is the first you’ve heard of it…”

He trailed off, glancing at her to give her a chance to speak, he didn’t have the energy to dominate the conversation. But Jane’s answer doesn’t really settle him all that much, “i told you i wanted to go to Sweden.”

“You said it would be cool to go..which...which is very different Jane!” 

“Yeah, and then I got the opportunity to go and I decided I wanted to do it.” she said it like it was an obvious thing, like Jake should be well aware of the situation, and it made him feel so so stupid, and he hated this entire night already. 

“I have no problem with you going! I..I just wish you’d involve me…” he pouted evasively , his eyes casting back down and away from the woman. She rolled her eyes, but he missed it, “well i apologized Jake. I’m not sure what else you want from me.”

“You didn’t apologize you said…’sorry.’ “ he shrugged his shoulders slightly, mimicking her earlier half assed apology, “which sounded more like a ‘too bad.’”

Jane gave him a cold look and scoffed, “Maybe we should just go to our own houses tonight..”

Jake shook his head apologetically, holding back tears from the implication that he managed to piss her off enough to send him home, “I’m just trying to understand Jane..”

“And I tried apologizing.” she hissed slightly, seeming oddly satisfied at Jakes desperate wince. 

“I don't need an apology, I just…. I just wanted to talk about it…”

There's another pause of silence as Jane bitterly studied his features, “I think you should probably just go home.”

Jake seemed a bit helpless, and tears actually did well up in his eyes this time, Jane seemed to back down somewhat at the reaction, guilt tugging at her. 

“I’m...not trying to attack you Jane..”

“Well it feels like that.” her hardened, angry tone had returned to her, a particular bite shining in her wiry eyes.

“Well i'm sorry! I..i am sorry...I just got confused….”

Jane's eyes didn’t thaw, they stayed as cold and set as they had been when her temper began to drop. Her jaw shifted slightly in a grimace, and they both took another halting pause as she tried to calm herself back down. Jake shrunk his form, looking like he might disappear into the couch cushions at any moment. 

“Come on Jane.” he offered a soft smile, patting the soft seat next to him, “sit closer, i'm sorry.” She looked at him, without moving or responding, so he continued. “ That just felt weird, that's all. I think going to Sweden could be really great for you. That sounds amazing. Are you going for your thesis?”

Her voice held a tense softness to it, “I don’t know what my thesis is yet….” 

Jake tilted his head towards her, rubbing his neck awkwardly, his eyes panicky and watery. His face lit up slightly as he attempted once again to change the mood to something brighter, “I know! It could be inspiring...right?”

Jane refused to take his olive branch however, refused to meet his gaze. Refused to help him out, “Jake i think you should just leave…”

He could feel his eyes start to well intensely with tears again, and he did his best to will them away, no need for dramatic floodgates, he should've run out of tears by now anyways right?

“Please Jane, i’m sorry, I didn't mean to overreact.” He pleaded, dropping any form of pride he had retained during the rest of the conversation. He may as well lay on his back like a submissive dog, but he didn’t want to go. Not now, not when she was the one telling him to, it felt wrong. Like something needed to be mended. He couldn’t just leave without anything being fixed right? He felt wetness drip down his face and sniffled again, looking a bit confused at the sudden stream of tears. Jane softened once again when she saw that he was crying, and scooted over to sit thigh to thigh with him, she placed a hand on the small of his back, rubbing up and down, it calmed him, thankfully. “ Okay, hey...shh, i’m sorry too alright Jake?”

“I get paranoid. I'm sorry. I'm going through all this stuff and I've been dealing with all this- this bloody panic…. and I just - overreacted. I'm not trying to put pressure or accuse you of anything. I just went bonkers for a second. I didn't mean to project.”

Jane moved her hand from his back and up to his hair. He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of her fingertips scratching gently into his scalp, his tears slowly subsided, and he settled against her. “It’s okay, i’m sorry too, it’s okay.” 

Jake thought that somewhere in this argument Jane had remembered what had happened, which made him feel worse, because he didn’t want his girlfriend to walk on glass around him simply because he was dealing with a tragedy, if he was being a huge ass, he’d want her to react correctly..right?

Jane seemed a bit uncertain, chewing at the side of her bottom lip before her eyes met his again, “I was..gonna ask you to come with me.” she suggested, forcing another half smile onto her features. Jake's heart settled somewhat, and he let out a half-confused and half-excited breath. She smiled genuinely when she noticed. 

“W..what do you mean?”

“What I just said.”

“To Sweden?”

She gave him a stiff nod, but her smile stayed authentic, “yes.”

He shook his head and gave her a dismissive wave of his hand, “it’s okay Jane, you don't want me to and that's really fine-”

“I just asked you to.”

“After I broke down crying! Which...is my fault! So you don't have to change your plans to try and make me feel better, really Jane.”

“Well Jake...you ruined the surprise.” she brought one shoulder up, a half shrug before resuming the petting of his dark locks. He stood there, a bit dumbfounded for a second and trying to figure out the veritability of her words. He beamed, trying to hide it by shoving his face somewhat into his own shoulder. This made Jane giggle.

“I wanted it to be romantic.” She hummed.


	3. The Flower Children

Dirk sits silently on Aranea and Meenah's couch, he had been here many times but he couldn’t help inspect the different clashes of décor. A few punk things strewn about here and there, nautical items, littered papers of forgotten writing, book quotes, it was a mess, but it fit them, he supposed. 

His eyes glanced up as Jane entered the apartment, she looked uneasy, not that he could say he was particularly interested in whatever she was about to say. Dirk had met these three a few years ago, and Jane had been one of the sweetest people he knew. Meenah was bold, but caring and charming, and Aranea was soft and comforting. Now they were all kind of head-up-their-own-ass jerks, but he still hung around them, he couldn’t help it, he was all too used to their company by now. 

Jane walked into the living room and smiled, “Hey uh, Jake is with me, he’s coming up now.”

Meenah groaned and crossed her arms in early defeat, “okay.”

Aranea sat up and tried to tidy up the papers scattered on the surface of the coffee table, it didn’t help much. 

Dirk perked up slightly at the mention of Jake. He had been given many pleasant interactions with Jane's boyfriend over the years of knowing them, and he can’t say that Jake had changed at all. Except for recently, with the accident. Jake seemed terribly sad, and Dirk had hardly worked up the gull to say anything to him. But he wanted to, god knew Jane didn’t do much of a job at comforting him. 

“Just so you guys know.” Jane stirred the conversation back up, desperate for their attention. Dirk leaned forward in slight interest now, “ Jake isn’t coming, but i um...did invite him?”

He freezes, glancing awkwardly at his two other friends, they seemed just as shaken by the news, but him especially. He let out a soft breath and leaned back in disinterest. Dammit Jane. 

“You invited him?” Meenah practically barked, standing up from where she was in an attempt to dominate over Jane, it hardly worked, it actually almost never worked for her, not with them, Dirk was glad she had attempted to call Jane out however. 

“Yeah but he isn’t coming.”

“He didn’t want to come?” Aranea pitched in, closing her laptop in order to participate more. 

Jane let out a measured tone of voice, eager to convince them of whatever weird point she was making. They didn’t seem to understand, rightfully so. “No. I invited him and he accepted, but he isn’t coming.”

Meenah and Aranea just stared at him, dirk was smirking somewhat, glancing away.

“You guys know what he’s been through recently!” she reasoned, her voice raising somewhat in an embarrassed pitch. 

Meenah cleared her throat, guilt evident on her features, she made a move to sit back down, “yeah no, it’s fine if he comes i just..didn’t realize.”

“Yeah Jane, nobody minds.” The ginger woman agreed with her girlfriend, offering an even smile to the topic. 

Jane turned as a knock sounded, laughing a bit at the idea that Jake thought he had to knock. She paced over and opened it for him, watching him as he walked past her and awkwardly stood to the other side of her, raising a nervous hand in a wave. “Hey.”

All three of Jane's friends responded in their own greeting. Meenah waved, Aranea gave him a soft, “hey” before glancing back down at her laptop, and Dirk nodded towards him, offering a casual smile. 

Jake seemed to settle somewhat, his hands resting at his sides instead of wringing anxiously in front of him. “How’s it going?”

“Just Gillin’ “ Meenah responded, getting small agreement from the rest of the group. 

“Nice.” there was a brief pause, and Jake began to get visibly skittish again, clearing his throat. Aranea seemed especially pained by the silence and decided to break it, lifting her head to look at Jake, “so.. Sweden!” she said enthusiastically, settling back as Jakes beaming started back up. Jane would have to thank her for that later. 

“Yeah!”

“You’re coming right?” Jake seemed a bit surprised by Dirk speaking, since he hadn’t done it at all since he had arrived, but he nodded towards the question, walking forward just slightly to close some of the distance. 

“I..I think so! If it isn't completely destroying your group bonding plans!” he snorted gently, and Meenah chuckled, giving Jane a sarcastic look, “Nope not at all.”

“Oh hush.” Jane scolds, thankful that Jake only responded to Meenah's input with a bashful smile. 

Meenah didn't seem to be satisfied with a simple backhanded comment however, “Hey Jane! Can I get you to look one of my paragraphs over? I’d get Aranea to do it but honestly...uh...she isn’t very thorough, can’t look away from her devices long enough to indulge me.”

If this comment at all bothered the ginger girl sitting across from Meenah, She made no attempts in showing in, continuing to type away at her homework. 

Jane offered a confused pause before glancing over at Jake, “uh sure..yeah..alright.” she turned fully to her boyfriend, “I'll be right back.” 

Jake watched as Jane and Meenah disappeared into a room down the hall, eyes wandering back over to Dirk, who warmly gestured for Jake to come join him. He obliged, moving across the room to sit down next to the blonde, feeling a bit intoxicated by the invitation. 

“Hey Dirk!”

“Hi Jake.” The taller male appeared to be sketching something, and Jake leaned over to get a better look at it. It was a sketch of the room, he grinned, “Nice drawing! You’re really talented!”

Dirk seemed actually touched by his compliment, humming in appreciation, “Thanks, I'm trying to be a naturalist.” He closed the drawing pad to give Jake his full attention, urging on the conversation with his eyes alone. Jake would almost say he was entranced, even behind his shades the man had beautiful eyes. “So..Dirk.. How have you been?”

“Pretty good, I survived finals, how about you?”

“Oh well I um- I didn’t quite finish, but they decided to give me a break this year…” His expression seemed to drop somewhat, and Dirk knew it was because of the implications behind his free pass. The reason they gave it to him. He swallowed down a lump that had formed, he really did feel bad for Jake. “Oh..Right.. God of course.” he placed a comforting hand on Jake's thigh, and the shorter male found it to be startlingly more nice than Janes touches, but he chose to ignore that thought. 

The dark haired male looked somewhat embarrassed, pushing into another topic, “How did you like the anthropology department?”

“It’s good! I just can’t seem to choose if I hate academia or not. Unlike this one.” He gestured towards Aranea, who stuck out her tongue playfully, they exchanged similar smiles, but Dirk had looked back at Jake nonetheless, and Aranea went back to her laptop. “You’re doing psychiatry?” The freckled man asked, tilting his head somewhat. Jake thought it was kind of cute. In a pals sort of way. 

“Psychology..yes..that's how you know I'm nuts.” He smacked his head slightly, snickering to himself. They stared at each other for a moment. A pleasant pause, just focusing on each others facial expressions. It felt so much warmer than the nerve-wrecking silences between him and Jane. He felt safer around Dirk. “Also that funny look in your eye.” Dirk let his hand come up to rest against Jakes temple, and the other stared deeper into him, his chest rising as he worked harder to respond, but Dirk removed his hand and continued for him, “ So! You’re coming to Hälsingland.”

“Oh! Um yes! I can’t wait! Jane says you have some special woods thing planned. I do love nature, I am quite familiar with...forests.” Jake almost wanted to smack his forehead. He is familiar with forests? That was such a good and awesome thing to brag about! Just Peachy. He seemed to beat himself up for it more than Dirk did, however. The blonde leaned forward. 

“Yeah, it’s a sort of crazy..nine day festival we have planned. You’ll like it. My siblings will be there as well.”

“Do you do this sort of thing every midsummer?”

“Uh.. well. Not quite like this one.” Dirk looked proud for a moment, excitement clearly coursing through him, it made Jake a bit gleeful too. 

“Ohh..what makes this guy so different?”

“Well, this ‘guy’ only happens every ninety years, so it will be a first and last for everyone.” he raised his eyebrows somewhat, filling Jake with that same warm anxiety this conversation carried. A good feeling, but one that still overwhelmed him slightly.

“Uh..Jane says you’re from a really small community?”

“Oh yes! Tiny..very sorta..secluded i guess?”

Dirk pulled out his phone, showing Jake a photo of four blonde teenagers- one being Dirk, all covered in freckles and dressed in bright robes and flowers. They were surrounded by tall, lush grass, and the sight made Jake all the more ready for this trip, it looked beautiful.

“Oh wow! Flower Children!”

“Big time. We do our own thing, love our astrology.”

Jake perked up, “Oh? What's your sign?” He hated to admit it but that was the only thing he actually knew about all that astrology stuff, it didn't seem to bother the other male in the slightest at least. 

“I’m a Sagittarius, how about you?”

“Oh! Me too!” he let out a soft chuckle, and rubbed his neck, Dirk watched him like he was prey, but he felt no nerve from this interaction either.

“Yes, I see that, when is your birthday?”

“December 1st.” He answered on beat, his vision going slighting blurry when he realized he would be spending his birthday without his family this year. Dirk rested a hand on his shoulder, probably sensing his unease. “Hey, that’s cool. My birthday is two days after yours” he said brightly, then glanced down at Jakes hands, “yknow, I think it’s actually really cool you’re coming, Jake.”

The shorter male tilted his head, snorting in a somewhat pessimistic drawl, “Oh yeah? For who?”

“For you...and for my family, i think you'll be very…” Dirk pressed his fingers together, to signify a connection, Jake assumed he meant between him and his family. He smiled, he really did want to get along with them. His smile dropped as Dirk moved on, “You know I never got the chance to tell you Jake but..I was really very sorry about your loss. AM very sorry about your loss.”

“Oh!”

“I can’t even fathom...I mean, I lost my parents too so I understand a little but-”

Dirk paused, noticing the tears in Jakes eyes. He panicked slightly and rubbed the others shoulder once again, “Oh god Jake, I'm sorry to bring it up, man.”

The dark haired man shook his head, “no no, thank you, but I just...uh...will you excuse me Dirk I'm so sorry.” Jake stood up and made his way to the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him and covered his mouth, tears falling fast and hard. He was really so appreciative of Dirk trying to comfort him but hearing about it was hard. He sat down by the toilet and spent the rest of his time at the house crying.


End file.
